Parody City, CA
April 1, 2009
Hot on the heels of the worldwide Conficker scare, insiders reveal that Microsoft has asked its nascent F# team to improve web security by writing an immutable browser.
Code-named Atom, the browser will allow users to manually type in a URL, and to scroll the results, but there is no mouse support within the HTML.
When pressed on the utility and security of having to manually enter URLs, the source replied, "It is definitely less convenient, but since we cannot secure the OS level, this really the next best route. Plus, we are excited to bring the principles of functional programming to the desktop".
In early market trading, shares of URL-shortening sites tinyurl.com and is.gd went up 4109%.