Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Conficker inspires F# team to release immutable browser

CodeToJoy Newswire
Parody City, CA
April 1, 2009

Hot on the heels of the worldwide Conficker scare, insiders reveal that Microsoft has asked its nascent F# team to improve web security by writing an immutable browser.

Code-named Atom, the browser will allow users to manually type in a URL, and to scroll the results, but there is no mouse support within the HTML.

Said someone close to the team: "The aim is to bring pure functional programming to the web. Atom will have no support for Ajax or any other Javascript. In fact, the users are not allowed to click on the page, or to have plugins of any kind. This will thwart the hacking community and save untold numbers of person-years."

When pressed on the utility and security of having to manually enter URLs, the source replied, "It is definitely less convenient, but since we cannot secure the OS level, this really the next best route. Plus, we are excited to bring the principles of functional programming to the desktop".

In early market trading, shares of URL-shortening sites and went up 4109%.


Alex Miller said...

Awesome, where's the download link?

Gabriel C. said...

My problem is that every time I try to interact with the browser, it never changes the screen, it creates a new window and closes the older one.