Friday, December 21, 2007

Dear Santa, Here's My List

Dear Santa,

I have been good this year. I have written intelligent unit-tests with plenty of code coverage. No empty catch blocks and tried to stay aware of threading issues.

Here is my list for this year. Please see attached.

thank you,
Michael Easter

10. "Oh Crap" Customizations

I want to configure software so that it ignores my "Oh Crap" moves. e.g. If I click on the A: drive, I want Windows Explorer to ignore me. If I type "google.cmo" into Firefox, I want it to no-op.

9. Snopes Plugins

I want a plugin for Firefox and Outlook that will confirm links and text against Snopes and alert the user that the given email is a hoax.

8. JSnopes

I want a website that lists "urban myths of Java" and sets developers straight on the current best practices. e.g. advice like "use StringBuffers everywhere" from 2001. Still accurate, or myth?

7. A Cap on DZone Down Votes

I want users on DZone (with which I have no affiliation) to have a limit of 10 down votes per week. That way, poseur naysayers can't blithely vote down everything they see. If a person runs out of down votes, they can express themselves with a comment on the site or, better yet, their own blog.

6. Please let "spaces in filenames" be just a bad dream, from which we will awake

5. Fitness as Games

I want treadmills, rowing machines, and other fitness equipment to be networked via games so that my gym becomes as fun and popular as an arcade.

Given the age/weight of Person A and Person B, weight the difficulty so that it's a fair battle. e.g. Can my heart-rate stay lower at 7.5 mph than yours at 5 mph? Then use this data to drive truly creative 3D games.

4. Python

I want to give Python at least half the coverage that Ruby gets. It deserves it. e.g. Why is it one of the very few approved languages at Google? Discuss.

3. Microsoft DeveLista

I want a version of the Microsoft OS that is geared toward developers:

  • No applications or bloatware.
  • Just give me the file system, drivers, registry etc, and the ability to add programs.
  • I might even pay the same amount IF you give me a modern way to edit environment variables!
2. Closures

I want the closures debate to be: rational, civil, and at times light-hearted. So far, so good, but I'm worried that things are going to get hot.

Jokes/spoofs are fine by me. The ideas put forth by the Big Players have been well-thought out, and even the regular joes are making sense. I just hope it stays that way.

1. Taser Task

I want an Ant Taser task that will send a signal to a USB taser and zap anyone who breaks the build. This includes me. I think it will make the workplace more fun.

Bonus points if the task can play a sound file of "Don't Tase Me, Bro" just before delivering the juice.


initials des said...

I hope there is a clock issue some where because if you're posting at 4:30 AM, you are either up WAY too early or drinking WAY too much caffeine. Of course that's just my opinion, I could be wrong. (Sorry Dennis Miller).

As Always...

Weiqi Gao said...

I would go even further in wishing that Python would get equal coverage as Ruby.

But you know how the press works, right? They have their own agenda.

And you know how the crowd works, right? They'll gather around the loudest talker just to have a crowd.

The good news is that Python is already one of the widest used programming languages. One of the latest Python gems I found is Sage, at It's quite interesting.

p. squiddy said...

Love the taser task.

As for String/StringBuilder myths, point them at this post:

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