Cult attacks OpenJDK, demands deified generics in Java

CodeToJoy Newswire
Parody City, CA
April 1, 2009

The OpenJDK team announced today that its source-control system received a "prolonged, sustained attack". The attack came from a small sect of developers who are strangely zealous about strong, runtime typing. The group's attempted upload to the site repeatedly stated "Give us deified generics in Java!".

One insider reported: "Apparently these people are not capable of submitting a reasonable proposal, nor are they satisified with mere reified generics. They are continually attempting to inject a syntax such as:

class MyCollection<we_kneel_before_thee T> extends Collection<T>;

which we think is both unpleasant and inappropriate."

There is no word on the affiliation behind the deification of generics, but sources say they suspect the misfits have ties to the ML-family of languages.